i’m trying to write a song…

i’m trying to write a song….

maybe if i keep singing that over and over again the words and the melodies will come.  the problem is, this keeps coming back.  let me fill you in…

basically i’ve written songs for about 10 years on and off.  typically in places where i challenged myself to write.  i typically can bang out a song in a day or two which should tell you that they’re probably not very good.  i do have one song that a couple of churches sing, but i don’t know if that is indication of quality.

so songwriting is not a discipline or a hobby, it’s an on again-off again, when i feel like it or get depressed enough situation.  i write better when i’m a little sad.  i hate being sad, so often i’d rather not write.  i can write if i impose deadlines upon myself.  i need a song for a special occasion, etc.  one of my songs was actually recorded.  keep in mind i wrote that song 10 years ago.

so songwriting is my friend one day and my enemy the next.  herein lies my issue…

i have all of these ideas swirling around in my head that i absolutely cannot force out onto paper.  melodies and lyrics.  chords and transitions.  it’s all there, but it won’t make it’s way to paper.  not in finished form anyway.

so what really keeps me from writing?

i think it can be summed up in one word….FEAR!

it’s the thing that cripples me creatively.  what if someone HATES it?  or even worse, what if someone LOVES it?  what if people latch onto the songs?

all that to say that on the piano are two pieces of paper with scraps of lyrics and i recorded a scratch vocal/guitar into my iphone.  i’ve challenged myself to write 5 songs in the next 6 months.  what i’ve really challenged myself to do is write 5 GOOD songs in the next 6 months.

i’m going to try to write every day.  a poem, a blurb, a lyric.  something to get into the discipline of writing.  Jon Foreman writes a song a day.  it’s no wonder he has a wealth of material to go to when he puts together an album.

so pray for me.  i want to create….but i’m afraid.


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