Month: February 2011

I’m really connecting with this song

The Cave-Mumford & Sons

It’s empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you’ve left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I’ll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker’s hand

So make your siren’s call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

from the Shattered Lantern

When we are unreflective, invariably it is because our restlessness lacks a proper asceticism and propels us into a flurry of activity that keeps us preoccupied and consumed with the surface of life–with the business of making a living, with doing things, and entertaining ourselves.  It is then that our actions no longer issue from a center within us, but instead are projects of compulsion.  We do things and we no longer know why.  We feel chronically pressured, victimized, and hyper-driven.  We overwork, but are bored; socialize excessively, but are lonely; work to the point of exhaustion, but feel like our lives are a waste.

This song has truly spoken to me this week

Why You Brought Me Here
Words and music by Andy Gullahorn and Jason Gray

I know I’ll get an answer that I won’t understand
If I ask that Your intentions be made clear
I know Your plans are greater and in that greater plan
Lie the reasons why You brought me here

This story would be different if it were only mine to write
There are secrets I would never volunteer
But secrets lose their power when they have no place to hide
Maybe that is why You brought me here

Oh, I hope You know what You’re doing; You brought me here

It’s a mess of my own making, I fully realize
And the consequences shake my heart with fear
But if was happy with the way things were then I’d put up a fight
Guess I’m grateful that You brought me here

Oh, all I see are the ruins but oh, as the smoke starts to clear
Hey, I trust You know what You’re doing, You brought me here

If it’s hard to raise a white
flag then it’s harder to believe
That surrendering is worth the sacrifice
Cause the very thing I always feared would be the death of me
Was a way to come alive

And it hurts to be so broken but it’s bearable somehow
As the grounds to prove I’m worthy disappear
I always heard You love me and I think I know it now
It’s the reason why You brought me here
Oh, Love’s the reason why You brought me here

a new poem…

An Ode To Randy Elrod-Chuck Harris Feb 4, 2011

i can hardly wait

to get to the gate

to board my plane

i’m about to go insane

it’s time for the artists

to converge with the smartest

guy that we all know

so we head to Tennessee

to see our friend Randy

and hope to be half as creative as he.

i wrote a verse…

a few weeks back about my lack of discipline…

this lack occurs in many areas.

in the area of food. i like to eat and i eat too much.  working on that.

i’m pretty lazy and don’t like to do mundane tasks.

i don’t spend time with God like i should.

i made a commitment to myself to write everyday.

so last week i started doing a few things that would be disciplined that would get me into a rhythm.

i started shaving my head every day again.  i had let this lapse and i noticed it was 3 times as much work if i let it grow out for a couple of days.

i started eating one helping of food, and i try to make the serving size the size of my fist.

i have been going to workout on MWF the last two weeks.

i have been spending time using the Common Prayer book and YouVersion on my iphone to at least spend some quiet moments in reading and prayer.

now to the writing….

i failed miserably at this.  i got caught up in the busyness of my job and family and just didn’t get it done.

so i’m going to try and shift it to here.  i’m going to attempt to blog what i write.  hopefully every day.  i’m setting a reminder in my phone so that i will remember.  i know that there will be days when i can’t get something down, but i’m going to make the attempt.  i’m going to work at that discipline.

i’m praying that the little steps i’m taking will help me in all aspects of my life.  i’m hoping it will help me with my wife and my children.  i’m hoping it will help me with other relationships.  i’m hoping it will open up other opportunities to allow me to minister and love others.