Month: November 2011


i haven’t talked a lot about my divorce on here. most of the people who know me, know the details. because of this situation, i chose to attend Divorce Care.  it’s  a great opportunity to be around people who are going through the same thing you are, and even though the videos are a little outdated and sometimes cheesy, it gives great information and the discussions are really good.  i love my group and i’m thankful for our leaders.  all that to say that this past weeks topic was forgiveness…

i think anyone who has been hurt or injured emotionally struggles with forgiveness.  i know that i do. i don’t want to forgive, i want to get even. but that’s not what God calls us to do.

so i opened up my book and i saw these next statements and it changed my perspective. i had preconceived notions of what it meant to forgive.  what i had to do, what it meant. so this was eye opening for me and i wanted to share it, because it applies to any act of forgiveness.

here we go…

Forgiveness is NOT:

A feeling-it is an act of my will

Minimizing the offense-what happened really happened

Condoning the other person’s behavior-i don’t have to call what they did “OK” to forgive.

Trusting the other person-forgiving them doesn’t mean i have to trust them again

Letting the other person off the hook-but they won’t answer to me

Expecting an apology-even if i never get one, i still have to forgive

Forgetting-God forgets our sins and remembers them no more, but i am not Him

i can’t tell you how freeing those statements were for me. so for the last few days, i’ve asked God for help to forgive and actually said the words, i forgive _________for_________

i’m finding that my heart is being softened even in these few days because i’m being obedient. will i feel that way every day? no because the enemy likes to drag that stuff back up, but i’m going to continue to obey God and be forgiving.

who do you need to forgive?

why i write in lower case…

when i started blogging, i wanted to have a “style”. i wanted to write well, but i wanted to do something a little different.

i’ve always admired the work of e.e. cummings(he’s actually my favorite poet, i bought his complete works a few years back). his orthography of not using capitalization or periods has always intrigued me. he’s quite a controversial poet who refused to back down from the subjects he wrote about.  even though he used avant-garde style, his forms were traditional in a sense. he was a master of syntax and many of his poems are actually sonnets.

Critic Edmund Wilson once commented “Mr. Cummings’s eccentric punctuation is, also, I believe, a symptom of his immaturity as an artist. It is not merely a question of an unconventional usage: unconventional punctuation may very well gain its effect… the really serious case against Mr. Cummings’s punctuation is that the results which it yields are ugly. His poems on the page are hideous.” 

to me, that means Mr. Wilson just didn’t understand. he probably didn’t want to spend the time to labor over the beautiful words and tricky word play that makes cummings so wonderful to me.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                            i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

From “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in” (1920) 
so that’s why i write in all lower case. it’s different and it’s an homage to one of my favorite poets. i do use punctuation, but only because i value the “pause”.
i’ll leave you with a few of my favorite cummings quotes.
“always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”
“America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still.”
“be of love a little more careful than of anything”

“humanity i love you because when you’re hard up you pawn your intelligence to buy a drink”

“nothing measurable matters”

well since i don’t write from two point anymore

i changed the blog name again. it started as musings from highway 6, then it morphed to musings from 121. it settled as musings from twopoint for a few years, and now i’ve settled on the most recognizable road near me although i live closer to Parmer Road. i’ll write more this week. be blessed.