a passage i read in a book sent me to this line of thinking…
instead of trying to create something that is real and authentic, why not actually BE real and authentic?
that’s my paraphrase, but it’s true. i think about creating moments for people to meet God, but are those moments real? are they authentic, or are they just a “production”? i don’t know if every worship leader struggles with this the way i do, but it’s a struggle. i really do want people to be able to relate to the guy who is on the stage in a real way. i don’t want it to be part of the show. i continually pray that God’s heart would shine out when i sing. i’m always telling my team that we have to balance worship and leading. that we need to be intentional on creating moments. i can do all of that and be as unreal and unauthentic as most MTV “reality” shows.
so where is the balance? how do i still create while being true to God, myself, my team and the congregation? i guess i need to go back to the original worship leader…that’s right the warrior poet and king himself…David
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
that last phrase really speaks to me. the whole Psalm is amazing, but asking God to see if there is anything offensive in me and that He would lead me in His way, not mine. that is answer to my question.