random thoughts today…

i was watching a little bit of the Grammy Nominations Concert last night.  there were some nice performances. as a result i went and looked up the nominees.

one of my chief complaints about the Grammy’s is that the voters really don’t listen to the more obscure categories. they typically vote on name recognition, so some amazing albums lose to artists who have won in the past, but don’t have the best work. i wish to be a Grammy voter that you actually had to listen to every entry and make a educated decision, but that just doesn’t happen.

this to say, i was a little disappointed with the offerings for Album of the Year.  There are some amazing records out that obviously none of the voters heard or cared to listen to. i hope that Bon Iver, Foo Fighters, the Civil Wars and Gungor are recognized for there amazing work this past year. so Grammy voters, if you’re listening, just go take a second listen to those records. thanks.

Forgiveness…

i haven’t talked a lot about my divorce on here. most of the people who know me, know the details. because of this situation, i chose to attend Divorce Care.  it’s  a great opportunity to be around people who are going through the same thing you are, and even though the videos are a little outdated and sometimes cheesy, it gives great information and the discussions are really good.  i love my group and i’m thankful for our leaders.  all that to say that this past weeks topic was forgiveness…

i think anyone who has been hurt or injured emotionally struggles with forgiveness.  i know that i do. i don’t want to forgive, i want to get even. but that’s not what God calls us to do.

so i opened up my book and i saw these next statements and it changed my perspective. i had preconceived notions of what it meant to forgive.  what i had to do, what it meant. so this was eye opening for me and i wanted to share it, because it applies to any act of forgiveness.

here we go…

Forgiveness is NOT:

A feeling-it is an act of my will

Minimizing the offense-what happened really happened

Condoning the other person’s behavior-i don’t have to call what they did “OK” to forgive.

Trusting the other person-forgiving them doesn’t mean i have to trust them again

Letting the other person off the hook-but they won’t answer to me

Expecting an apology-even if i never get one, i still have to forgive

Forgetting-God forgets our sins and remembers them no more, but i am not Him

i can’t tell you how freeing those statements were for me. so for the last few days, i’ve asked God for help to forgive and actually said the words, i forgive _________for_________

i’m finding that my heart is being softened even in these few days because i’m being obedient. will i feel that way every day? no because the enemy likes to drag that stuff back up, but i’m going to continue to obey God and be forgiving.

who do you need to forgive?

why i write in lower case…

when i started blogging, i wanted to have a “style”. i wanted to write well, but i wanted to do something a little different.

i’ve always admired the work of e.e. cummings(he’s actually my favorite poet, i bought his complete works a few years back). his orthography of not using capitalization or periods has always intrigued me. he’s quite a controversial poet who refused to back down from the subjects he wrote about.  even though he used avant-garde style, his forms were traditional in a sense. he was a master of syntax and many of his poems are actually sonnets.

Critic Edmund Wilson once commented “Mr. Cummings’s eccentric punctuation is, also, I believe, a symptom of his immaturity as an artist. It is not merely a question of an unconventional usage: unconventional punctuation may very well gain its effect… the really serious case against Mr. Cummings’s punctuation is that the results which it yields are ugly. His poems on the page are hideous.” 

to me, that means Mr. Wilson just didn’t understand. he probably didn’t want to spend the time to labor over the beautiful words and tricky word play that makes cummings so wonderful to me.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                            i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

From “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in” (1920) 

so that’s why i write in all lower case. it’s different and it’s an homage to one of my favorite poets. i do use punctuation, but only because i value the “pause”.

i’ll leave you with a few of my favorite cummings quotes.

“always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”

“America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still.”

“be of love a little more careful than of anything”

“humanity i love you because when you’re hard up you pawn your intelligence to buy a drink”

“nothing measurable matters”

well since i don’t write from two point anymore

i changed the blog name again. it started as musings from highway 6, then it morphed to musings from 121. it settled as musings from twopoint for a few years, and now i’ve settled on the most recognizable road near me although i live closer to Parmer Road. i’ll write more this week. be blessed.

More…

the sermon at church yesterday was on worship and he used the verse “taste and see that the Lord is good”. he likened it to something you eat or experience and you want more of it.  one bite of cake will not do.  one date with a girl that you really are attracted to is not enough. so it should be in our experience with God. we should always be wanting more, but sadly we don’t.

is it because we’ve never truly tasted or seen how good He is. are we so distracted by life and the pursuit of me that we can’t possibly see clearly?  is our life so cluttered with other things that our palate is confused and we can’t savor the wonderful flavor of His awesomeness?

i guess that’s what i’m trying to sort out right now. i want more, but what is it that i want more of? i should be wanting more of Him, but sadly my heart runs to lovers less wild. i know that only He can satisfy, so why is it, to quote Andrew Peterson, all i ever seem to chase is me?

Psalm 96

i’ve been giving people snippets of Psalms on FB and twitter as i go through the 40 day reading plans in The Voice of the Psalms. it’s a great translation.  today, there’s not enough room to post this whole thing and i didn’t want to put 20 posts up, so i’ll just link to here and you can read the whole thing.

Sing a new song to the Eternal One; Sing in one voice to the Eternal, all the earth.

Sing to the Eternal of all the good things He’s done. Bless His name; broadcast the good news of His salvation each and every day.

Enlighten the nations to His splendor; describe His wondrous acts to all people.

For the Eternal One is great indeed and praiseworthy; feared and reverenced above all gods, the True God shall be.

For all human-made, lifeless gods are worthless idols, but the Eternal plotted the vast heavens, shaped every last detail.

Honor and majesty proceed Him; strength and beauty infuse His holy sanctuary.

Give all credit to the Eternal One, families of the world!

Credit Him with glory, honor and strength!

Credit Him with the glory worthy of His magnificent name; gather your sacrifice, and present it at His temple.

Bow down to the Eternal, adorned in holiness; lay awestruck before Him, trembling, all people of the earth.

Shout out to the nations, “The Eternal reigns! Yes, indeed, the world is anchored and will not shake loose. He governs all people with a fair hand.”

And so, let the heavens resound in gladness! Let joy be the earth’s rhythm as the sea and all its creatures roar.

Let the fields grow in triumph, a grand jubilee for all that live there. Let all the trees of the forest dig in and reach high with songs of joy before the Eternal One, for He is on His way. Yes, He is coming to judge the earth.

He will set the world right by His standards, and by His faithfulness, He will examine the people.

i’m reading again…

i had stopped. one of my friends told me it was because i was depressed.  i guess that could be true, but i really don’t know.  in the midst of moving and starting over, all the books were packed away and it was easier to just not read. but after buying a bookshelf and unboxing the library, i am slowly getting back into the desire to pick up a book and delve into the pages.

i’m definitely reading passages from the Bible.  i’m using The Voice of the Psalms.

where i used to read 4 or 5 books at a time, i’ve pared it down to two for now.  i’m working my way through Clay Shirky’s Cognitive Surplus an amazing book about technology and how it has turned consumers into collaborators.  also on my nightstand is Ian Cron’s Jesus, My Father, and the CIA-a memoir of sorts.  Cron’s Chasing Francis is one of my all time favorite books. i wrote about it’s initial impact on me here.

so my prayer is that i will continue to read. to continue to pursue wisdom. and that in reading that my writing will explode and become what i dream it needs to be.

something i need to be

intentional:

adjective-done on purpose; deliberate

i need to be more intentional.  i don’t need to accidentally stumble onto things.  i don’t need to wing it when it comes to the details of life.  quite often that is where i live in this random, sporadic, spontaneity that i claim is “who i am”.

the truth is it’s a good excuse to not get things done.  it allows me to make relational mistakes and say “i didn’t intend to hurt you” it allows me to be lazy in certain things and pawn it off to my personality.

i need to be deliberate.  i need to do things on and with purpose.

i think half of the battle in our lives is realizing what we are and what we are not. i know my strengths and weaknesses, but i can’t be nonchalant about them.  i need to be more intentional about maximizing my strengths while not allowing my weaknesses to hamstring me.

so what are you being intentional about? are you doing things with purpose? where does your focus need to be today?

it was a good week

i’ve been searching for clarity.

in Davis Guggenheim’s documentary “It Might Get Loud”, U2 guitarist The Edge is remembering the labor he went through to write the song “Sunday, Bloody Sunday”. he uses the analogy of a managed forest. when you look at it from one angle all you see is a mass of trees, but eventually you turn a corner and see that all the trees are in rows…clarity.
as he’s talking the camera moves to show us that all of the trees are in rows. it was a brilliant moment for me as the visual moved the story along.

i had a few moments like that this past week as i was able to attend the first ever re:createATX One Day conference.
listening to amazing artists like filmmaker Andrew Shapter who shared with us the importance of relationships and their influence on story. jazz trombonist Mike Mordecai and his friends who treated us to a beautiful afternoon of music. Rick Jackson, and executive who shared with us the excitement of Cinsay a new E-commerce company and the wonderful art of balance.

clarity…i started to see the forest in spite of the trees.

i also made the vocal team at Gateway Church. this was a very fulfilling thing for me as people that i love and admire made the decision that i have the skills to sing on a level that i haven’t had the opportunity to experience before.

clarity…moving in the right direction musically.

i also had some breakthrough in my personal life. a friend pointed out to me that i began most of my conversations with “i’m lonely”. he said that i needed to work on being content with myself before i went off trying to fill the loneliness.

clarity…i want to fill my life with good things and good people.

but the highlight of my week had to be attending the 1211 live taping at the original Austin City Limits studio. i mean i got to stand on the stage where Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Stevie Ray Vaughn and so many more of my musical heroes have stood and performed. although i was just there to watch and worship, it was surreal to think about all the amazing music that had been played in that very room, and we got to experience amazing, redeeming music that night as well as some beautiful stories.

clarity…

i want to own art….

i’ve always wanted to.

now i do.  thanks to my good friend Randy Elrod.

i won the original water color poster for re:create ATX.  it’s beautiful. i’m going to have it framed and will enjoy it for many years.  i’m hoping to own other pieces in the future.  i’d like to have a Scott Erickson.

so i’ve now begun my collection and hope to add more.